seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
