Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
