Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
