New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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