we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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