i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
