you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My ass is underappreciated
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
