Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Randomize
