I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
it's like iHOP with fire
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
