this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize