How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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