Cold hands, warm shart.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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