you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Randomize
