I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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