I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
