Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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