btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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