I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
