I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
