So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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