This girl is more easily done than said...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
