Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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