I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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