I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
