it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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