im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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