i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
