Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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