Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I need to calm my uterus...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
