My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
