i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
