i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
