he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
