Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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