i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
