dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
She said her name was "party"
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
