out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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