Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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