Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
