so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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