so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
