I can tuck mytits in my pants
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
