How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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