First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
its liver damage thursday
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
