You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
