At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
