the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
