haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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