I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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