i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
