I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
