Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
