is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
