I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
